A good place start is the 5 Love Languages, which has you giving love to your partner in a way they recieve love. Instead, switch this around and ask yourself what you can add into the relationship. You could fill in the blank with whatever thought but they often have a theme of my partner needs to do more or give more. I don’t know about you but many of us can find our minds thinking things like “I wish she would clean the kitchen more”, “I wish he would come to bed with me more”, or “gah, why won’t she make the dinner for once”. Ingredient 3 - Create a Culture of Generosity Regardless of where, having the time to be physically intimate with each other in whatever form - like kissing on the couch, massage, sex, or a soapy suds-down in the shower - is certainly a main ingredient of a sustainable relationship. Although technically it can happen anywhere in the house. I do talk more in depth about this in a post on I is for Intentional Intimacy however you want to make the time to have intentional time together inside the bedroom. Ingredient 2: Create Intentional Intimacy Time Inside the Bedroom Keep it simple and try something like a 15 minute tea time at the end of each Thursday night where you chat about the latest cat video and what you’ll do on your upcoming vacation. This doesn’t have to be a date night out on the town requiring a fancy restaurant and digging out those rarely-worn heels from the back of the closet. To sustain a relationship you need to carve out intentional time together. The “whenever” is not consistent and most certainly not reliable. I have many people share with me that their time together with their partner happens “whenever”, meaning after work, after the kids, after the chores, after the. You have to schedule time for emotional connection. Ingredient 1 - Create Intentional Intimacy Time Outside the Bedroom Remember my previous post where I talked about focusing on just one thing at a time in your relationship? The KISS main Ingredients fall right in line with the theme of NOT over complicating but rather, well, keeping it simple, silly! Instead you want to make sure you are creating and maintaining a strong base in your relationship by keeping it simple. Meaning, you don’t want to be doing all the things or adding a bunch of complicated spice to your relationship to maintain happiness. Regardless of what specific phrase fits best in your mind, the principle still remains the same: keeping it simple. "keep it simple, sexy!" (OK, I might have made that one up) The KISS acronym has taken many forms like: The principle is that systems work best if they are kept simple rather than made complicated. K.I.S.SĪpparently, according to Wikipedia, the acronym KISS was originally a design principle from the U.S. A fun new sex position to try out can certainly add flavor BUT you want to be careful you aren’t adding the spice before you have the simple main ingredients. Things like “How to Spice Up Your Relationship” and “How to Have Your Partner Want to Have Sex With You”, or “These Are the 5 New Sex Position to Try Tonight!”.ĭon’t get me wrong, spicing up your relationship is not inherently a bad thing. Nowadays the internet totally bombards you with all these different ways to make your relationship better.
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